pick me up now, i need u so bad

gotten my results today..wasn't too satisfied but i knew i din put in effort so i have nothing to say.
things are still not getting any better..why can't i be normal and stop being so...'quiet'. i dun want to have tis sort of awkwardness around. i wish to break the ice. its just so hard to change..
mood swings still hanging around me...trying hard to curb them but its so difficult. i can only focus on polo now...

it has been an eventful week for me. after sitting down and giving several matters a serious thinking into..i realised my mistakes and my impulsiveness. seems that i shouldn't have overreacted at all. its none of my business anyway. so..ya. shouldn't tink so much about things too. guess i was too impulsive at that period of time. for this i apologize. hope pple understand and accept my apology. i dun wan to lose friendships through this. :)

next, the nat champs. we lost both of our matches against redtide and ntu. redtide was disappointing cos we commited all the mistakes that simply shouldn't be committed. it was all about the mentality. guessed we were too pressured by them. ntu match was hugely disappointed as it was a game tat we shld have capitalised on and win. everyone fought hard but i guess a 6-man team just can't cut it. i for one..is guilty for not being able to keep those shots out. for that, i'm sorry. i should have seen those shots coming. real heartbroken when we realised that we had lost. i have seen how npcp has deproved this year and i dun wish to see it from happening again. i swear that i will train even harder and put in 100% in every training. i simply wanna do NP proud. NPCP..we can do it!

Lastly, thank u team NP3 for the fight we put up in every match. Yes..we committed mistakes and lost some matches but we still managed to prove others wrong and showed that we are no push-overs. i thank my team for the spirit and everything, nat champs may be the only competition we played together as a team but i will always remember everyone in the team. Thank you once again Team NP3 for these magnificent memories..

i'm tired of life. i'm freaking enjoying all the shit that has been happening to me. do i deserve it? or am i just plain unlucky? is there such a thing as karma..? cock-ups happening regularly..opportunities pass me by when i lack the will to commit into them. i dunno if i really deserved all this shit.