cos i'm mr brightside.
Thursday, August 31, 2006 @ Mr Brightside - The Killers

@ The greatest pain in my life.
Sometimes i wonder if God or whatever is above is toying with me or what. To have to endure such a scene was nauseating. Blood-boiling. Heartbreaking. Can't fucking believe my eyes. Why did this have to happen to me? God..isit that fun to play tricks on me??

Of all the people..it was....Fuck. every thought that came across my mind is negative. I struggle to control my emotions but its so hard..all the beliefs that i try so hard to hold on to are breaking apart. Perhaps looks is everything. Even now..tears well up in my eyes when i think about it but does thinking do any good at all? Rage and jealousy cruised through my body but wtf can i do? I dun even deserve to be angry in the first place but why the hell am i so pissed? People asked me not to think so much and to forget about it but i simply can't. Maybe this time i'm really serious about my feelings. I'm totally helpless in this situation. I'm better off dead now. Fuck everything that went wrong. I just can't stand the pain now. Its tearing me apart. I have lost the will for every single thing. EVERY FUCKING SINGLE THING IN MY LIFE. The cold hard truth is staring at me right in the face. I wanna run away from reality, run away from the truth. Spare me the torture. End my misery.

(pardon my usage of expletives but i jus simply can't control my emotions now.)

Tuesday, August 29, 2006 @ Invisible Life by Ashley Parker Angel
Whenever you're close to me
I feel a trembling inside
And then you approached me that day
Suddenly I feel so high
But I don't want to leave I'm not worthy of this higher
Being in the light I'm truly holy but n-now I'm Confined to this ground
Invisible life
Whenever the rush recedes
My reality melts away
Turning on the TV screen
It appears were all ok
But I don't want to leave
I'm not worthy of this higher
Being in the light
I'm truly holy but n-now I'm Confined to this ground
Cause I can hear this humble silence
Creep into my house I know it feels like coming home
But I can't go this time
I'm taking my own chance
To find truth between the lies (Truth between the lies)
It's kinda like just what it is
So I gotta try
So I can hear this humble silence
Creep into my house
I know it feels like coming home
But I can't go this time
Cause I'm not worthy of this higher
Being in the light I'm truly holy but n-now I'm Confined to this ground
Cause I can hear this humble silence
Creep into my house I know it feels like coming home
But I can't go this time
Invisible life

Sunday, August 27, 2006 @ this is just the beginning.
Had my first 2 matches today. played with SP our batch de..and oso TP year 3s. SP match was the best match i ever had. everything was present. the aggression, the passion, the will to win. We worked as a team and we proved others wrong. Whats more, I scored!(which was real unexpected.) haha. simply loved the intensity of a match.
TP match was a disappointment though. We were leading them 1-0 when they finally scored in the last minute. was damm disappointed with myself. argh. if only i had managed to block that shot..so sian. argh. now we have to win at least another match to get a place in the q-finals. i will do my best. People beware cos Team NP 3 is coming up and u all better watch out! =)

Friday, August 18, 2006 @
exams are here and i'm still not studying. damn i'm lazy. argh.
life sucks. wth am i doing? i dunno myself and....

Sunday, August 13, 2006 @
well...for tis entry..i'm jus gonna voice out my thoughts. like it;hate it. i dun care..

anyway here goes..saturday..RD day. was sea marshall but seems like i'm somewhat part of the logistics comm. was doing my sea marshall until the end of the event. thats when the conflicts and problems surface..firstly..some guy came and shouted at mx for not doing his job while he was taking a break. i mean..wats the point of shouting? and mx can't jus split himself into two rite? yes..its been said tat he and benson not doing their stuff but at least he's trying to do it now rite? benson's hand is injured so i got nothing to say about that. den i decided to help mx settle some of the stuff. while doing the stuff..the sea marshalls were towing the boats back to sdba from the RD site..after doing the boats for sometime..someone came and approached me to ask the logistics pple to go to sdba and help with the boats. well..currently the log comm consists of mx and benson and benson is a handicap and mx's supposed to be waiting for a call from NUS. so what to do? zzz. den we heard the sea marshalls are pissed..angry at the log comm for not doing their stuff..hey..logistics are also human okay? its not that they dun wanna help out..its they are simply understaffed. since when is a logistics committee made up of two pple? and with benson down..mx is the only one. can't you guys see it? please consider tis point before being angry and stuff. being angry isn't gonna help rite? den all around me..pple are complaining..blaming the logistics pple...scolding each other..give attitude problems..for goodness sake..are we even a club in the first place? if helping each other is such a hard chore...i dunno wat are all the bonding camps, training camps are for. If the bonds between each of us is so easily broken...y bother even trying to be together in a club??
another thing tat i'm realli disappointed with..some pple can give comments and talk to much but they are not even freaking helping. PLEASE. if u wanna talk so much..can u f***ing go help? wth are u sitting there and talking so much crap for? i asked for help and u can give all sorts of reasons and when i said i only have 2 pple with me..u still have the cheek to say i have enough pple? u wanna try loading and unloading stuff from a lorry and den moving all that junk up to the clubhouse??? it realli pisses me off to see this type of pple. for goodness's sake. SHUT UP.

and now...RD is over..but it seems tat nothing is over yet. now pple are complaining that they have paid the registration fees but because they were late...they aren't given any goodie bags or t-shirts..and they are now insulting NACC and someone. i dun wish to see NACC's name tarnished tis way..from my point of view..i see no problem in giving out the tees even if the participants are disqualified or were late since they had paid the money. if they had paid the money and still got to walk home empty-handed..something is seriously wrong. And i even heard selling of the extra tees..that is wayy wrong.i dun understand the need to be so strict. maybe we can follow other events and jus gif out the t-shirts or goodie bags when the participants arrive whether they are late or not. after all, they did paid their money's worth rite?? Den..about the 100-plus..we had over 1000 cans of 100-plus to give out. however..since we only had 500+ participants..someone decided to give out only 500+ cans too. wah..so how bout the other 500+ cans? for us to bathe in them?? i even heard that when some participants asked for more 100plus..someone flatly refused them. like wth? seriously alot of sh*t happened. and i dun have anymore patience to write anymore. i jus realli hope the RD comm will look into tis problems and correct them..

Sunday, August 06, 2006 @ Iris - Goo Goo Dolls
And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive
And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

@
hmmm..thurs had a friendly with NUS. absolutely lousy. dunno wat i'm doing. played 3 or 4 matches. had to 'dong' most of the matches..real tired, and the NUS pple are like so attp. small matter oso shout for foul or 'pua chao'..can see the kind of sportsmanship they have. gotta train hard. groupings are out and my team is up against redtide 2, SP C, NTU 1 and TP 2. shall do my best to help the team reach the next round, not gonna be letting the team down once again. nat champs are coming and i still can't cut it. grrr.

friday- became a last minute replacement for weilong in project NutZ. real sian..i was allocated to be the first runner. like wat the?? i'm real slow lar. zzz. den..started the run and i was like owned by the dragonboaters and benson and kel. benson with his freaking long legs jus went past me like nothing. had to push myself real hard to run fast, seems tat it was MUCH harder den i thought. when i finished my part of race..was so tired tat i jus lied down on the grass.yea. its tat CHUI. supported some of my fellow canoe mates who were running their leg of the race..apparently everyone oso felt real tired. seems tat the 1km+ distance isn't tat easy at all.in the end..NACC team 1 got 5th. congrats! =) oh ya. i received my paddle. haha.

sat- hurt my wrist while keeping. had major bruising there den that weilong whack me on the same spot and now its SWOLLEN. great.

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