pick me up now, i need u so bad

I can't read you. i realli wished i knew wats going through ur mind. there's been so much stuff going on. thought i was special; guess i'm not. guess i'm tink too highly of myself. damm. seems like u oso treat other guys like that. tinges of jealousy always rise however when i hear u talk about others. argh. guess i'm such a lousy person. let time do the talking.

had combined land training as usual. was games day. so played bball after the warm-ups and the campus run. played till calves cramped. zz.
have the feeling there are several hypocrites around. had a conversation with some people and they had some realli sarcastic comments while talking to me. played along with them..acted like it wasn't affecting me. but in my mind was freaking unhappy. i dunno wat are the remarks and 'jokes' are for..but they ain't funny. i may seem acceptable to it but its not. if u all got anything to say just tell me..no need to resort to this. its just so hurting to hear this kind of stuff. just becos i left doesn't mean u had to do tis. freak.

this past few days was like a dream. i thought i stood a chance. apparently i was tinking too much. should just wake up from this dream and get back to reality. wondering why life has so much crap for me to go through..

Just wanna scream my lungs out.

worked during sat. seems like i just can't stand my china colleagues. =X some of them work damm slow...some of them have attitude problem..and some of them are just mentally unsound. argh. i tink i'm becoming a 'countriest'. i can't work well with them la. just dun like them. argh..hafta tahan. hope they change..haha.

still can't realli cope with school work. Especially proewildfire. grrr..

seems like i'm hoping for too much, asking for too much, expected too much of myself. wat to do? the higher the hope, the harder the fall.

shagged. this word describes today's poolslot. did sprinting, monkey and some new drills taught by simon. after changing boats with the juniors..we had to get to the poolside and do some workouts.(crunches, pushups etc.) at first i was not in good shape at all to do such stuff..woke up with a damm tight chest today. so when we doing all the exercises..i was real breathless and its really frustrating..but after adapting to the exercises..it was quite alrite and i continued with the others and finished up the exercises.

after that..played man-mark..real chui..starting was alrite..after that our team just kinda crumbled. sian. i must improve and simon also said i must improve on my strokes. hmm..keeping that in mind.

and did i mentioned that my PROE Wildfire teacher teaches like his riding a Ferrari?? OMG. i dun understand wat he doing lar. OmG.